This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 76

May 9th, 2013

Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter, and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.

WORDPLAY:

Silent G’s are funny. (I’m talking about taciturn gangsters.)

WISDOM:

This is true. We’re all stupider and smarter than we were or will be, so how about let’s cut each other some slack, OK?

WISDOM:

This is funny because it’s true.

WISDOM:

This is funny because it’s true.

STUPID:

This is funny because it’s not true. (I have no connection to the Spangler Candy Company.)

WORDPLAY:

In a way, that’s even more impressive.

That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.

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This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 75

March 21st, 2013

Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter, and then other stuff, and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. This one is mostly about Election 2012. So we’re about four months removed. I actually prefer commenting on current events long after they’ve happened. I think it allows for more objectivity, which I like. Unfortunately it also means no one cares about them anymore. It’s a pickle.

REACTION:

Must be election season. (It was.) This is true, by the way — just ask my shrink.

REACTION:

Fancy that.

WISDOM:

Almost never.

STUPID:

I was just kidding. It was the election results.

WISDOM:

I tweeted this on Election Day, so it was funny.

STUPID:

I haven’t checked… With 2012 out of the way, what’s the new odds-on favorite for when the world is going to end in the next few years?

WISDOM:

This is funny because it is ironic.

WORDPLAY:

This isn’t really wordplay, because each word here has just one meaning and is used correctly. But I like the elegance of the point. It’s funny because it’s true.

WORDPLAY:

This one is wordplay. I switched the letters, see, and then back-formed the premise to make a stupid pun. It’s funny because it’s stupid.

REACTION:

I do not like the United States Postal Service.

WISDOM:

My favorite part of this is the “and you’re also a jerk.”

STUPID:

I don’t think this makes sense.

REACTION:

Today’s TIT:MCD was brought to you by People Being Dumb for Thinking Other People Are Dumb.™

That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, dummy.

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Mostly Lies, Completely Funded

March 18th, 2013

Something cool happened a couple weeks ago. My Kickstarter project for Mostly Lies, a book, was successful. And that’s pretty cool. Thanks to everyone who helped make it happen. I am currently in the planning/rewarding phase of production. The new buttons are, as of this writing, lost somewhere in the postal system. (Remind me sometime to tell you about how I have grown to utterly despise the United States Postal Service.) I’m sure they will turn up soon and then I can get those sent out to all the backers (although it’ll be up to the USPS to deliver them, so I apologize in advance).

In the meantime, I thought I’d offer a brief reflection. Here I go reflecting:

Numbers

  • The total amount pledged was $6,197, which is 112% of the goal. (It is also a prime number.)
  • The total number of backers was 104.
  • The smallest pledge was $1. The largest was $1,000.
  • The average pledge amount was $59.59.

People

A total of 104 wonderful people, all of them extremely good-looking, backed Mostly Lies. I always had the secret goal of 100 backers. As much as I appreciate the big donors (which is a lot), one of my reasons for setting the $5,500 funding goal was because I wanted to see if my idea was appealing enough to attract a lot of people, and a lot of different people. And I guess it was.

Rightly or wrongly, I view each pledge as a compliment. It’s a, “Hey, you’re doing pretty cool stuff.” And the best way to get compliments — for me anyway — is from a healthy mix of strangers and friends.

When a stranger compliments you, it means a lot because they have no reason to blow smoke up your butt. You know they’re not just being nice because they’ll have to face you tomorrow. But at the same time, it’s easy to discount strangers’ compliments because, come on, they don’t really know you. Sure, you seem OK — superficially — but dig a little deeper and you probably suck. If those strangers only knew.

That’s how I think anyway.

So it’s nice to get the compliments from close friends too. Those are the folks who have been here all along and, crucially, they’re still here. Maybe you do suck, but you don’t suck enough for those people to completely lose all faith and abandon you.

It’s good to have both. And then, when you add everyone else in between — the person I occasionally run into at the pub, the person I banter with on Twitter, the person I went to high school with but haven’t spoken to since, my friend from first grade — that’s a really satisfying mix.

Serious Business

It’s a really satisfying opportunity to let people down by not writing something great. So now I’ll get on with the serious business of letting you all down.

I really appreciate the chance.

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This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 74

February 28th, 2013

Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter and then later I explain them here (or usually just make more jokes), and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.

WISDOM:

And when it does, I’ll say, “See? I told you so.”

REACTION:

I don’t remember what was on TV opposite the baseball game. Some awards show, I guess. The point is, this applies to everything on TV always.

STUPID:

This is stupid.

WORDPLAY:

This is a play on a Garth Brooks song. But seriously, who makes phone “calls” anymore?

WISDOM:

10/11/12. This is true. People like to make connections between unconnected things, and other people like to complain about it when that happens. I think both groups are missing the point of being human.

STUPID:

I did think about it, and it is, but I don’t know exactly why.

REACTION:

I like that “exploiting mental illness” doesn’t start with “L”. But seriously, have you guys watched TLC lately? There has to be a theory somewhere on the internet about how, given enough time, every cable channel — whether it began as science, history, music, or movies — will eventually transform into a Kafka-esque farce.

WISDOM:

One thing we can all agree on: the other side is wrong. And probably evil. And definitely stupid. I just hate them so much.

WORDPLAY:

Do you see why this would be funny?

WORDPLAY:

(In case you did’t see why this would be funny.)

WISDOM:

It’s an interesting phenomenon to share or not share someone’s “sensibilities”. What are sensibilities? They’re pretty ephemeral. But I know them when I see them. And I hate them.

That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. Speaking of episodes, you should episode my my Kickstarter campaign to write a book called Mostly Lies. Thanks!

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