It's hard to not kick people while they're down. I mean, come on, they're right there. At kicking level.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 6, 2012
This is a bit of wordplay, but it’s also true, don’t you think? Who doesn’t like to feel superior to others? Who doesn’t love to say “I told you so”? Picking on people is fun because it’s easy. And I don’t know about you, but I love easy stuff. Don’t get me wrong, difficult stuff is necessary too, for things like advancing civilization and stuff like that. But other people can do that, right? You and me, let’s stick to what’s easy. It’s fun!
If God had intended for us to eat off of plates, he wouldn't have invented paper towel.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 4, 2012
This is common sense stuff, Alan.
I've joked that "it is what it is" means nothing. But in reality it most often seems to mean, "I *really* wish it was what it isn't."— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 27, 2012
I’m fascinated by the things we say when we’re saying what we aren’t saying. The next time you want to say this, try this suggested revision: “I am upset by this course of events, but I humbly accept that there is nothing I can do at this time to change them.” Your friends will probably freak out if you say that. It’ll be funny.
I just realized that "herpes" rhymes with "Slurpees". Do you think this is just a coincidence? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 28, 2012
But seriously. Wake up, sheeple, Alan.
Friends are the family you choose for yourself, which explains why friendships are so f#%ked up.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 27, 2012
F#%king friends and family.
Retweet and favorite this tweet if you'd retweet and favorite my tweets more if I were a hot chick.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 26, 2012
To be fair, I could be a hot dude too.
Some families avoid certain topics of conversation, but in my family there's nothing that can't be discussed behind each others' backs.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 26, 2012
This isn’t strictly true, but I think it’s a pretty good switcheroo.
Ugly, dumb, mean. Pick two.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) December 24, 2012
If you’re all three, things are not going to go well for you.
That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.