Monthly Archives March 2008

Not Viewer Mail: Fruity

A reader from Orange Park, Florida asks a question I get all the time: What’s a good April Fools joke to play on my friends? Dear Idiot, don’t be such a moron, stupid. April Fools jokes are neither April, nor fools, nor jokes. You were a mistake (I mean pregnancy-wise). Grow up. Everybody buy Tally [...]

Viewer Mail #3: Screwing Wombats

A reader from Riverdale, Georgia asks: Conlan, What did you mix with vodka tonight? Regards, Veronica Orange juice. The cocktail is called a screwdriver. It was discovered in 1623 by a cabinet maker in the India. For years cabinet makers had struggled to find a way to hold together their cabinet-shaped pieces of wood. One [...]

Viewer Mail #2

The responses to my request for Viewer Mail were overwhelming. Thanks to everyone who wrote, and I will try to answer all of your questions in time, either on the blog or through personal correspondence. But for now, Amanda from Yorba Vista, California writes: Dear Conlan, Are you trying to tell me that you don’t [...]

Viewer Mail #1

I stupidly agreed to a deal with an anonymous friend wherein, if she posted one blog entry per week, I would do the same (250-word minimum). The problem is, right now I don’t want to write about anything. Or, more specifically, I don’t want anyone to read what I want to write about, and I [...]