Monthly Archives: March 2008

Not Viewer Mail: Fruity

By Conlan | Published: March 31, 2008
A reader from Orange Park, Florida asks a question I get all the time: What’s a good April Fools joke to play on my friends? Dear Idiot, don’t be such a moron, stupid. April Fools jokes are neither April, nor fools, nor jokes. You were a mistake (I mean pregnancy-wise). Grow up. Everybody buy Tally Hall’s Marvin’s Marvelous [...]
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Viewer Mail #3: Screwing Wombats

By Conlan | Published: March 29, 2008
A reader from Riverdale, Georgia asks: Conlan, What did you mix with vodka tonight? Regards, Veronica Orange juice. The cocktail is called a screwdriver. It was discovered in 1623 by a cabinet maker in the India. For years cabinet makers had struggled to find a way to hold together their cabinet-shaped pieces of wood. One day, in the town of [...]
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Viewer Mail #2

By Conlan | Published: March 26, 2008
The responses to my request for Viewer Mail were overwhelming. Thanks to everyone who wrote, and I will try to answer all of your questions in time, either on the blog or through personal correspondence. But for now, Amanda from Yorba Vista, California writes: Dear Conlan, Are you trying to tell me that you don’t get [...]
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Viewer Mail #1

By Conlan | Published: March 16, 2008
I stupidly agreed to a deal with an anonymous friend wherein, if she posted one blog entry per week, I would do the same (250-word minimum). The problem is, right now I don’t want to write about anything. Or, more specifically, I don’t want anyone to read what I want to write about, and I [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

  • If you like reading this blog, buy me a beer.