Monthly Archives: June 2008

View Mail #24: Chopped Liver

By Conlan | Published: June 28, 2008
Nicole, from Undisclosed Location, writes in a comment: Why don’t you ever answer MY questions. What am I? Chopped liver?! Hi, Nicole. Thanks for your queries. The question “What am I?” has puzzled philosophers for centuries. Around 10,000 years ago, it was finally answered: “A person. Duh.” The answer to your other question: “And onions, no thanks!” Thanks again, [...]
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The Complete History of the Con, Part 3

By Conlan | Published: June 28, 2008
Last time (look it up), with my dreams of clown college and clowning dashed, I found myself emerging from a haze of debauchery. My face hurt. You see, that first banana split in Denison was laced with banana roofies: a secret Jamaican extract that renders the victim extremely impressionable and unable to remember anything that happens while [...]
Posted in Memoir | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A gracious host

By Conlan | Published: June 26, 2008
In case you didn’t notice (and you didn’t, because you wouldn’t), I’ve switched webhosting companies for This is Conlan. If you ever tried to visit the site and got a “Page cannot be displayed” error, or something similar, it’s because of my previous host: the craptubular Midphase/AN Hosting. Hopefully that kind of thing will be [...]
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Viewer Mail #21: ATTN: Potential employers

By Conlan | Published: June 24, 2008
A fictional character from Burbank, California writes: Dear Conlan, I’m wondering about some TV shows. It doesn’t really matter which ones, but for the sake of argument, let’s say, Veronica Mars and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What happened in the thirteenth episode of the second season of Veronica Mars? And what was that “Buffy” show about? Sincerely, MJF Great questions. Veronica [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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