Nicole, from Undisclosed Location, writes in a comment: Why don’t you ever answer MY questions. What am I? Chopped liver?! Hi, Nicole. Thanks for your queries. The question “What am I?” has puzzled philosophers for centuries. Around 10,000 years ago, it was finally answered: “A person. Duh.” The answer to your other question: “And onions, [...]
Last time (look it up), with my dreams of clown college and clowning dashed, I found myself emerging from a haze of debauchery. My face hurt. You see, that first banana split in Denison was laced with banana roofies: a secret Jamaican extract that renders the victim extremely impressionable and unable to remember anything that [...]
In case you didn’t notice (and you didn’t, because you wouldn’t), I’ve switched webhosting companies for This is Conlan. If you ever tried to visit the site and got a “Page cannot be displayed” error, or something similar, it’s because of my previous host: the craptubular Midphase/AN Hosting. Hopefully that kind of thing will be [...]
A fictional character from Burbank, California writes: Dear Conlan, I’m wondering about some TV shows. It doesn’t really matter which ones, but for the sake of argument, let’s say, Veronica Mars and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What happened in the thirteenth episode of the second season of Veronica Mars? And what was that “Buffy” show [...]