“Boink” is an onomatopoeia. Some pervert writes: “Boink”? Yeah, it’s onomatopoeia for sexual activity! Dear Pervert: WRONG. Sexual activity does not sound like that… I mean, it does if you do it right, but few are that skilled. Boink is the sound of getting hit on the head with an animated object of some kind [...]
Dear San Francisco, Yesterday I had one of those epiphanic moments, like in movies, when the protagonist’s life floats past his eyes and he realizes he’s been in love with his best friend all along. Everything he’s ever wanted has been right in front of him the whole time. You know, Hollywood bullshit like that. [...]
A reader: Dear Conlan, Are the rumors true? Hee haw, Sam Wainwright Almost always. Especially if they’re about someone being a slut. Thanks for writing, Sam.