Monthly Archives: October 2008

Halloween is Evil

I’m sorry, but I can’t remain silent on this issue any longer: Halloween is the devil’s tool, used to ensnare our children into baby-eating, electric car-driving, anti-homeschooling zombies1. Do you know the ACTUAL history of All Hallow’s Eve? As recently discovered documents reveal, Halloween was started by Karl Marx in 1858 as a way to rouse [...]
Posted in History | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ask Conlan: LinkedOut

Some girl, who apparently has a big head (her words), writes (edited for capitalization, punctuation, and linking purposes; no offense): I’ve had a LinkedIn account for like 7 months, and I don’t know how to use it or what it’s for… maybe you should write a blog about that like you did for Twitter, eh? Sincerely, The Other [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Bookshop

When I was in college, I worked at the college bookstore. One day a girl came in, took a pen off the shelf and brought it to the register. Then she took an old pen from her pocket. “I used up all the ink in this one,” she said, indicating her old pen. “Can I trade [...]
Posted in Short | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

I’m going to [EDIT] this post

Update 10/23/08: Rather than deleting any part of this stupid post, I have edited it to more fully represent the events of the day. I have retained all the original text in bold, striking through what was no longer necessary. Today I met my second favorite Twitter followee favorite Twitteree west of the Mississippi today. [...]
Posted in People | Tagged , , | 11 Comments
  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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