Hello there.
This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.
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If you like reading this blog, buy me a beer.

You: I love you. Also, possibly, hate.
Attention faithful viewers: Next week is Official Commenter Appreciation Week!
Every year, the first full week of October is reserved for blog-type people to appreciate their commenters. (It should be noted that there may actually be such a thing, but for my purposes I am making this up right now as I type.) All over the intertubes, famous person-bloggers take a week to shower love and non-sexual favors on their loving, non-sexually favorable readers. I, being the bastion of magnanimity that I am, of course, am no exception.
All next week I will be publishing odes and homages to my wonderful yous. Also, I may possibly heap derision on you; I’m not sure yet. If I know who you are, that will help, but if you are a stranger, I will make stuff up (this will be the only time on this blog that I will ever make stuff up). All I ask is that you leave a short comment on this very post, so I know who I am racially profiling (so to speak).
So, get to it.
If you are having trouble coming up with a suitable comment (and you probably are, because not everyone is a PROFESSIONAL WRITER as I am), you may simply echo the words I heard at a bar the other night, which I believe were an expression of affection: “Yo, girl. You lookin’ fiiine… Daaaaaammmn.” Just copy and paste.
Check back on Monday for a whole week devoted to you. Because, while congress may not care about you, maybe I do.
Comments, ho!
(no offense)