This is Conlan

Time for more.

REACTION:

The use of skulls as a design element seems pretty tired. Unless you’re a designer of skeletons.

You know what I’m saying? Skulls are supposed to be all badass, then a few years ago they started trying to make them cute (I assume to take advantage of the untapped female bone-loving demographic). It’s just dumb. I don’t want to see any more skulls. Not on belt buckles. Not with little pink bows on. Not behind your face. El día de los STUPID, am I right?

STUPID:

I’m pregnant with your child. OK, OK, I’m exaggerating. I’m pregnant with your fetus.

This is funny because it’s true. I mean, it’s not true. I’m not really pregnant, like that guy in Oregon or wherever, which is pretty dumb, right? How can science explain this anomaly? A guy who used to be a chick and still has ovaries and a uterus and everything a chick needs for getting pregnant is pregnant? It’s like Jesus, only more Crying Game.

STUPID:

I hate everything and think everyone is an idiot. Much like the late Walt Disney did.

To my knowledge, Walt Disney did not hate everything—just most things. He did, however, think everyone was an idiot.

REACTION:

San Francisco is the greatest city in the world for observing human herd behavior. Also, for public nudity.

True story.

REACTION:

In business, a person is called a “resource”. I like it. It feels like I’m in some kind of exciting Phillip K. Dick-esque dystopian future.

I like dystopian futures. They feel like home.

WISDOM:

Note to myself: When someone says something I disagree with, be skeptical. When someone says something I agree with, be even more skeptical.

There is a term in psychology called confirmation bias, meaning that we tend to interpret information in a way that confirms our previously held beliefs, and ignore information that contradicts them. In other words, we have a bias towards our own bias. It’s a common occurrence in our society, especially during election years.

REACTION:

I forgot my iPod at home. In my line of work, this is referred to as, “…shit.”

True story.

That concludes this episode of “This is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest”. Stay tuned for more.