Monthly Archives: February 2009

The “Conlan’s Great” Challenge!

By Conlan | Published: February 26, 2009
Recently someone told me this: I think you’re a young Steven Wright crossed with a baby Hodgman, mixed with the casual coolness of Ben Folds, all mixed up in your body. It’s probably fun to be you, or at least to have your brain. It is not fun to have my brain. But neurological anomalies aside, that’s [...]
Posted in People | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Conlan Asks: Nick

By Conlan | Published: February 16, 2009
I asked my nine-year-old cousin Nick for advice on women. He offered his simple, effective four-step plan: Kiss her. She will cry. She will kiss you. You will have a girlfriend. Ingenius, no? Update: He has no similar advice for women courting men.
Posted in Women | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

VIDEO: David After Dentist

By Conlan | Published: February 13, 2009
I love this kid. (via some Beehive commenter + Google)
Posted in Internets | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

This is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 8

By Conlan | Published: February 11, 2009
Here we are again, with another episode of “This is Twitter: Meta-commentary Digest”. STUPID: My sister has been ovulating all over the house… that may not be the right word. Technically, this could’ve been wordplay, but it’s too stupid. Actually, she was ululating, making strange, high-pitched singing noises. It was disgusting. WORDPLAY: I’m hungry. The word for hunger in [...]
Posted in Internets | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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