Recently someone told me this:
I think you’re a young Steven Wright crossed with a baby Hodgman, mixed with the casual coolness of Ben Folds, all mixed up in your body. It’s probably fun to be you, or at least to have your brain.
It is not fun to have my brain. But neurological anomalies aside, that’s a pretty bitchin’ compliment, right? Which got me to thinking… why doesn’t everyone give me bitchin’ compliments? That’s where the challenge comes in. In the comments section of this post, please compliment the crap out of me. I will randomly select the best compliment and award the complimenter a prize of my choosing.
Fire up those thesauri and start greasing the wheelchairs! “Conlan’s Great”-fest 2009 starts NOW!
Fine Print (updated):
Contest ends at 11:59pm PST March 1, 2009. Valid only in the U.S., Canada, and New Zealand (Australia sucks). Entrees must be accurate to the best of your knowledge at the time of comment. Flattery will get you nowhere, unless it’s convincing. Members of Conlan’s immediate family are ineligible, so don’t even try, Mom. All compliments become property of This is Conlan, Ltd.. All rights reserved.
Comments 5
I know I’m well past the cut-off date for entry in the contest, but the other day I was typing an email and I remembered that it was you who taught me to use paragraphs in my email writing.
Posted 08 Mar 2009 at 9:19 pm ¶For some reason I had been writing emails in solid blocks, but you said, “hey, what do you have against paragraphs?”
And that fixed the problem.
So, thank you.
As a relative I would be eliminated from winning any of your competitions. My compliment is that although you are a gifted, albeit quirky, writer and I enjoy most if not all of your writing and your dry remarks where brevity is the soul of wit even on subjects like my forgetting to take
Posted 13 Mar 2009 at 9:33 pm ¶my Metamucil when I said “shit” and you said “oh, contrare”
or however it’s spelled…I’m too tired to pull out my dictionary and I returned the French ones to the library after I wrote
Caitlin’s host family the most atrocious letter (trying to be complimentary about how great they were…where was
I…oh, your compliment/writing…you have the greatest feeling and panache about any review of music…it is your forte…so as you slowly get famous, somebody should
give you a job writing on a music journal…so, get with
it people (and by that I mean editors)…not that I’m grateful FRESNO magazine publishes your scintillating music reviews already…and other great articles too.
First, my eyesight is so bad I didn’t read your fine print telling me I shouldn’t even comment.
Posted 13 Mar 2009 at 9:46 pm ¶Second, I know this violates the “once a week” rule but I haven’t commented for ages so you must as a gentleman forgive me.
Third, and most important I HAD to correct my TYPO (above)
the last paragraph SHOULD HAVE READ “not that I’m NOT grateful FRESNO etc. If I didn’t make the correction I would be conveying the opposite of what I meant and I would be biting the hand that feeds you. Sorry. Sorry.
I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.
Actually, I said, “Oh, shit!” and I said you should have said, “Au contraire.” Alternately I could have said, “No shit.” Anyway, live and learn.
Posted 14 Mar 2009 at 1:18 pm ¶Sunday starts a new week, right? My one comment: you’re right. Anyway, let’s clean up the potty mouths.
Posted 15 Mar 2009 at 4:59 pm ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1
[...] to say, I’m disappointed in you twelve. I thought at least a couple would take part in the “Conlan’s Great” Challenge. But it looks like you’re all “Conlan’s Great” challenged! Haha… [...]