Monthly Archives: May 2009

Ask Conlan: Mathematics, maybe

By Conlan | Published: May 22, 2009
Some jerk in Iowa writes: Dear Conlan, I have something to ask you. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. What I want to ask is this: do you think some people are mean? Your Friend, Some jerk Some, I’m glad you took the time to write. Because if you didn’t take the time, your message would probably [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

The Hot Toddies: Not a drink

By Conlan | Published: May 19, 2009
A few months ago, I saw The Hot Toddies perform at a local watering hole (figure of speech)1. The Oakland-based, all-girl quartet plays an ironic mix of twee surf-pop, girl-group beach party, retro-inspired philspectorism2. But the Splenda-sweet melodies and truly brilliant multi-part harmonies are belied by the absurdist and cynical lyrics, ranging in topic [...]
Posted in Music | Tagged , | 3 Comments

The Complete History of the Con, Part 6

By Conlan | Published: May 15, 2009
If you’re just joining us, this is The Complete History of The Con: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Now we continue… After a moment, I grabbed my old-fashioned leather suitcase and joined Laverne at the truck stop counter. Now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Where did he pick up an old-fashioned leather suitcase? Has he had it [...]
Posted in Memoir | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Tom no more

By Conlan | Published: May 14, 2009
You may recall that last year I frequented a local Starbucks under the pseudonym Tom G. Whiffler1. Then one day Starbucks annoyed me and I decided to drive 10 miles to an independent coffeeplace, and I never looked back (figure of speech). So, for the last six or seven months I’ve been going to this [...]
Posted in Life | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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