Season’s greetings, my loyal viewers. As you may be aware, I have not blogged here recently. I have however, blogged elsewhere and done other matters of things. I just wanted to wish you all a happy holiday season filled with peppermints and cheeses of various assortments (there’s no such thing as vegan cheese).
And, since this is the season for giving, I want to give each and every one of you the opportunity to donate money to me using the handy “Donate” button on the right side of the page. Who knows? It might even encourage me to write things here more often.
In fact, it will. For instance, if you donate you will receive a thank you gift of words as follows.
|Donation (Dollars)||Gift (Words, on a topic of your choosing)|
|Less than $10||Up to 20|
|$500||2,500, plus a hearty handshake and a smile|
|$1,000||5,000, the handshake, the smile, a drawing of a wizard (or old-timey, grizzled prospector), and a colorful badge in the sidebar naming you or your company an official “This is Conlan A-OK Thing”|
Each gift comes with an official numbered e-certificate of authenticity suitable for printing out (at your own expense) and framing.
Do you have a topic you’ve just been itchin’ to choose? Then act now! This is a limited time offer, probably!
P.S. The title of this post is short for “Curtis the Season,” a former professional wrestler of some note. Curtis “The Season” Gorkosky got his nickname because he came down on his opponents “with the brute force of a vernal equinox” according one breathless newspaper report in 1934. The name stuck and, when he retired from wrestling in 1951, Gorkosky founded the famous gift card company Season’s Greetings. The company went bankrupt in 1958 due its immense investment in the failed, ahead-of-its-time “I’m glad he’s dead” line of funeral cards (which is still an untapped greeting card market), yet to this very day the company name remains synonymous with wishing someone dead around the holidays.
- My mom says my smiles are like gold, because they are rare and precious. So, you know, take that into account [↩]