Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter and then I freak out and wonder if anybody understood the joke I was trying to make because, OMG, what if I’m not as clever as I think I am!? So then I post them again here and explain them and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.
FYI:
After 4 years, I am retiring my use of the term “toot” for Twitter communications (cf. @ylnt). Twitter has reached cultural saturation…
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 25, 2012
(continued below)
At this point, any deviation from the accepted term is needlessly (as opposed to charmingly) confusing. May God have mercy on our souls.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 25, 2012
As of now.
REACTION:
I’m reading factcheck.org and feeling validated by the posts that support my views (I’m ignoring the rest).
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 14, 2012
Confirmation bias. It’s real, and it’s deadly.
WISDOM:
I was just trying to be funny.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 13, 2012
If you have a question about something I say, the answer is probably this.
STUPID:
How do people make friends? I’m asking for a friend. I can be my own friend. I’M SO LONELY!
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 13, 2012
This was better as written, with a line break between each sentence. I’m fascinated by the phrase “I’m asking for a friend,” so I play with it. I don’t think this one is as funny as my previous tweet: “Will you be my friend? I’m asking for a friend.”
STUPID:
Whoever first said “you win some, you lose some” was probably talking about games.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 13, 2012
This is funny because it’s true.
WORDPLAY:
There is no excuse for taking full responsibility for your actions.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 12, 2012
Get it? It’s a joke.
WORDPLAY:
No, sorry, I’m an ideator. What you need is a proactivator. I can put you in touch with a synergizer who can help you find one.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 11, 2012
Buzzwords are fun to play with. I dislike buzzwords because, to me, they betray a lack of original thought. They’re basically insta-clichés, because they take the place of clear explanations and ideas while ostensibly saying something meaningful. If they ever meant something, that meaning has been lost by their overuse. My purpose with this tweet, if I have one, is to point out the silliness of these words by changing their common form (e.g., from an adjective to a noun). But that’s only if I actually have a purpose, which I probably don’t.
STUPID:
Is it illegal to threaten people on Twitter? Answer me or I’ll kill you.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 10, 2012
I think this is funny. I hope my tweets are never used against me in a court of law.
WORDPLAY:
Why buy the soy if you’re getting the milk for free?
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 9, 2012
This is a joke about cows.
AND THEN THIS:
It’s reassuring to hear that the contestants on this dating reality show are open to finding love.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 6, 2012
This is kind of fun.
Sometimes I think of a better way to phrase a toot I already tooted, so I toot it again.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 9, 2012
But later I thought of something else.
It’s reassuring to hear that the sexy singles on this dating reality show are really open to finding love.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 9, 2012
“Sexy singles” being open to love is funnier than “contestants”.
Sometimes I think of an even awesomer way to phrase an awesome toot I already tooted, so I toot it again.
— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 9, 2012
That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.