Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter and then I freak out and wonder if anybody understood the joke I was trying to make because, OMG, what if I’m not as clever as I think I am!? So then I post them again here and explain them. And sometimes that makes the misunderstandings worse. This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.
I’ve been studying the human form, and I think my favorite part is “emergency contact”.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 20, 2012
See, like the forms you fill out when you go to the doctor’s office. (I’m talking about human doctors who treat humans.)
Never attribute to stupidity that which can be adequately explained by “really super, seriously severe, mind-boggling stupidity”.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 20, 2012
I call this Conlan’s razor.
REACTION (I don’t know how, but somehow this tweet got deleted from Twitter, but here it is):
A combination murder-suicide is a great way to let people know that you’re unhappy and a despicable person.
I can understand, intellectually, getting mad enough to kill someone. I can also understand getting sad enough to kill yourself. I can even understand why someone would decide to combine murder and suicide: if you’re going to kill someone, then killing yourself right afterwards makes sense—you can avoid the hassle of evading punishment or sitting through a long, boring trial. But what I’m specifically reacting to with this tweet is the people who kill their kids and then kill themselves. I don’t understand that at all. You know how selfish I think littering is, so you shouldn’t be surprised when I say that murder/suiciding your own children is infuriatingly, overwhelmingly, god-playingly, repulsively abhorrent. But I guess nobody’s perfect.
Pobody’s nerfect, so I’m probably doing to gie alone.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 20, 2012
I don’t really know what this means, but I’m sure it means something.
I always include “This email is confidential” in my email signature, just in case I ever accidentally email someone a murder confession.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) June 18, 2012
Speaking of murder, that concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.