This is Conlan

Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter and then I freak out and wonder if anybody understood the joke I was trying to make because, OMG, what if I’m not as clever as I think I am!? So then I post them again here and explain them so they make even less sense, and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.

WORDPLAY:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219323283739385856

This is a joke about homonyms.

WORDPLAY:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219323207327555584

See, like “crazy straws”.

WORDPLAY:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219323036292218880

This is dumb.

WISDOM:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219322798726848512

Seriously, I don’t know how you people find time to do anything else.

REACTION:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219322723510394880

Tiny spiders are so cute. Look at that one walking across your face. He thinks he’s people.

WORDPLAY:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219322527523160064

Sing it with me: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life…

STUPID:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/219249637238902784

I’m not sure what the point of this one is, other than I’d like to have a helicopter. But it wouldn’t be as cool if it was super hot. Either way, I’m not really going to buy a helicopter.

WISDOM:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/218798099685052416

I think it’s funny to hate old people. Also, this is a funny joke.

WISDOM:

http://twitter.com/#!/thisisconlan/status/218578742203793410

I’ve been tracking it and I get out the door an average of 1.4 minutes sooner.

That concludes this episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest.