Author Archives: Conlan

Button v2.0

The rumors are true. You’ll notice a number of exciting updates in the new version. Release notes (2.0): Simplified user interface Now with 85% more beard Numerous bug fixes and enhancements It is a very nice button. Just listen to this REAL TESTIMONIAL from Travis Sheridan: “Wearing the @thisisconlan button makes me moe (sic) popular…and you can quote me on [...]
Posted in News | Tagged | 3 Comments

Ask Conlan: Kitty Meow Town

A reader (ironically) writes: Why am I never allowed to own a cat? Thank you for your question, Doug. This is a very interesting situation requiring the requisite non sequiturs (and therefore non sequitees, for argument’s sake), but what—inasmuch as there is such thing—does this actually preclude? The answer to that is simple: Don’t buy a [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Namaste

I just came across this idiotic website proposing that Fresno change its name in order to, somehow, suddenly have a better image. To somehow be less of a punchline. The Fresnan has a great rundown of why this is probably the lamest revitalization idea ever, so I refer you there for background info and details. [...]
Posted in City | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

The Great Treacle Debacle

This is not what you’re looking for. It’s not very often I, being Conlan, have a chance to see what life is like on “the other side”, by which I mean the desert. I don’t even really like dessert. Just desserts is a thing, but it’s actually “just deserts”. Not many people understand this. There’s [...]
Posted in Nothing | Tagged | 1 Comment
  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

  • If you like reading this blog, buy me a beer.