Someone writes: Do you ever get lonely? Good question, Someone. I think I’ll answer it in the form of a song… Webster’s Dictionary defines lonely as, “sad because one is very ugly” or “without a helper monkey”. Most people believe that no one can ever truly be lonely because there are other people on Earth[1]. [...]
A reader writes: Dear Conlan, How do I figure out what to do with my life? I need to find a new job and I just don’t know where to start. Sincerely, Meandering in Minnesota Thanks for your question, Madarin. It’s not uncommon for people of a certain age to wonder what it all really [...]
Somebody writes: Why do you waste everyone’s time with these dumb “Ask Conlan” things? Most of the time they don’t even make sense. When I get done reading it I usually say to myself something funny like, “There’s five minutes of my life I’ll never get back” or something like that, like they’d say in [...]
Some dumbo writes: Dear Conlan, With Thanksgiving coming up, I’ve been wondering: what’s the best present to give a turkey for his (or her?) birthday? Sincerely, Summer Dumboski First of all, thanks for your question. Secondly, I feel I should point out (for my readers in Eastern Europe) what “Thank-Sgiving” is all about. In 1892, [...]