Category Archives: Life

This is what I’ve been doing.

Check it out: http://www.lovethecaptive.com.
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How I am being murdered

Whenever the conversation turns to murder (as it inevitably does), my pal RC is always eager to offer his preferred method: Take one of those dual-tube epoxy mixes and jam it up somebody’s nose (one tube in each nostril). Then discharge the epoxy up said nose. Theoretically, the two gels will meet somewhere near [...]
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Another letter home from my stay at the Institute for the Research and Treatment of Inappropriate Capitalization & Punctuation

Dear Sandy, First of ALL «I want you to know I am alright.» I AM sure you have heard about the trouble that HAS OCCURRED, here, at the IFTRATOICAP: i have been told IT is on THE news. I have not BEEN able to confirm/this, because we HAVE BEEN (on lockdown) since the incident. i will [...]
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A letter home from my stay at the Institute for the Research and Treatment of Inappropriate Capitalization & Punctuation

Dear Sandy, Tonight I arrived at the Institute for THE research and Treatment of Inappropriate Capitalization & Punctuation for my two-day, THREE-NIGHT TREATMENT program. I am GLAD TO REPORT that the, bus ride was smooth and UNEVENTFUL. The staff was very helpful WHEN I arrived, directing Me to my—room and not MAKING fun of the way [...]
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  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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