Hello there.
This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.
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Category Archives: Memoir
The Complete History of the Con, Part 5
If you’re just joining us, you may want to check out The Complete History of the Con saga thus far. When last we left me, I had just had my heart broken (metaphorically) by a Nazi impersonator, in re: watermelons. Let’s see what happens next… It took me a few minutes to regain my composure. [...]
Posted in Memoir Tagged arizona, cantaloupe, cigarettes, desert, love, Memoir, pickles, sexual tension, truckers, watermelon 3 Comments
The Complete History of the Con, Part 4: Too Soon
With each chugga-chugga of the train, all the pain of the past drifted further into the distance. The soothing, honking chords of The Other Guy’s harmonica echoed the train whistle, as city gave way to desert. The sun was soon nipping at our tail. “Do you ever think,” The Other Guy asked, “about things?” “Not [...]
Posted in Memoir Tagged cantaloupe, holocaust, Memoir, nazis, new mexico, reenactment, train, watermelon 1 Comment
The Complete History of the Con, Part 3
Last time (look it up), with my dreams of clown college and clowning dashed, I found myself emerging from a haze of debauchery. My face hurt. You see, that first banana split in Denison was laced with banana roofies: a secret Jamaican extract that renders the victim extremely impressionable and unable to remember anything that [...]
Posted in Memoir Tagged bananas, burlesque, clowns, deformities, Gary Busey, ice cream, kicking, Memoir, texas, train 2 Comments
The Complete History of the Con, Part 6