Hello there.
This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.
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Category Archives: People
400, starring @brightcaroline
I made a promise many days ago, and now I will do the part of the promise that involves doing something. It was a sunny day in ATLANTA, GEORGIA [pause for applause] when Tommy’s 1972 Mercury Bullet High-Life pulled into the parking lot of the Busty Blonde Diner in Pro-bowl, Utah. Tommy, who was the [...]
Christmas Blend, with two pumps of peppermint syrup
Customer at Starbucks, sitting at a table with her friend, after noticing how crowded the store is at 10am: Wow, this is kind of scary. I’m glad I have a job. I’m assuming she assumes that anyone sitting at Starbucks at 10am on a Friday is out of work. Despite the “Whuh?” factor of this, [...]
Cool Burps
Last night I went to see The Hot Toddies from Oakland at Audie’s Olympic1 They’re a four-piece, all-girl2 band that plays 60s girl-group-inspired tunes heavy on irony and tongue-in-cheekiness (“W W W dot whoa-oh-oh-oh dot com”). They were really good and fun and cetera. Great harmonies, too. But that’s not my point. My companion for [...]
How to be obnoxious and make people wish you’d choke on your own vomit