Category Archives: Women

My promise to myself

Let’s just say, it’s been a “long week”. Last night, my best friend and I shared a pint of Ben and Jerry’s1 and a good cry. I came to some important realizations. I have had it with bad relationships. I’m done being treated like dirt! And I’m done staying when, in my heart, I know [...]
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Conlan Asks: Nick

I asked my nine-year-old cousin Nick for advice on women. He offered his simple, effective four-step plan: Kiss her. She will cry. She will kiss you. You will have a girlfriend. Ingenius, no? Update: He has no similar advice for women courting men.
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12DB, Day 5: The Wizard’s Pub

“Are you gay?” “Am I gay?” I want to be sure I understand the question. “Yeah.” The girl is drunk. She wandered into the bar and sat near me. She came in with friends but they’re in the corner talking. “No,” I say. “Do I seem gay?” “Well, you see,” she says, clutching her Bud [...]
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The Seducer’s Diary (in non-diary form)

She’s got tattoos on her arms; one on her leg. RC has been into tattoos lately, because he likes girls who are brave enough to do things he’s not. She’s pretty cute, I guess. She’s a waitress. No, she’s a busboy. A busgirl… A… busser? You know, an empty-glass-picker-upper. She has great posture. She’s short, [...]
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  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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