My best line

Conlan — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:00:15 +0000

As you know, I’m a copywriter. Generally, I write about relatively boring stuff using relatively boring language. But sometimes I have a chance to be a little more creative. And sometimes I get a little too creative—at least as far as my clients are concerned. Thus, the best line—so far—I ever got paid to write ended up getting cut before publication. But I like it so much, I had to share it with you.

The topic being discussed was a wine tasting/educational seminar, and the line went something like this:

Sure, you seem sophisticated sipping that glass of wine. But, if it came down to it, you’d have to admit you don’t know Shiraz from a hole in the ground.

I was pretty proud of myself when I thought of it, and even prouder when I googled and saw that only one other person in history had even had the same idea (and, personally, I think my construction of the joke is superior).

“Shiraz from a hole in the ground.” I’m awesome.

I’m a copywriter

Conlan — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 19:00:21 +0000

I prefer subtlety. I don’t like hitting people over the head with information, which is why I always aim for the groin. But sometimes my desire to avoid excessive attention causes difficulties.

For instance, I’m a freelance copywriter. It’s my job. Like, for real. But on more than one occasion, people who are familiar with me—because of Twitter or even this blog—have been surprised when they learn what I do.

Aside: also, on more than one occasion, people have thought that copywriting (i.e., writing for marketing, promotional, or advertising purposes) had something to do with copyright (i.e., the legal right of an author or creator to their work). Here’s a handy mnemonic device I use to remember the difference: “writing is a thing and righting isn’t.” I just made that up, literally right now, and it’s perfect. See how good a writer I am?[1]

I describe myself as a copywriter in my online bios and I have a whole page about it on this site. I subtly assume that people will seek out this information. But that’s an incorrect assumption. And, if I think about it, this isn’t all that strange. There are lots of people I’m familiar with via Twitter or some other way, and I don’t really know much about them. Some of them are defined by their jobs, so I know what they do, and others aren’t. I don’t think knowledge of my job is needed to understand me, so it’s unsurprising that this info isn’t always sought out by others. Personally, if my interest about a person is piqued, I’ll seek out additional information about them, but my interest isn’t piqued by everyone.

In conclusion, I’m a copywriter. You can pay me to write (or edit) stuff. And now you know.

Right actually can be a verb, but another part of being a good writer is recognizing the difference between what is technically “correct” and what makes the most sense to the most people… I literally just made up that definition of a good writer right now, and it is perfect. I am blowing my mind today.

This is Conlan » Work

My best line

I’m a copywriter