Tag Archives: jokes

The man in it

On my bathroom mirror, I have written in permanent marker, “Tomorrow I will begin being more positive, more active, and more productive.” Each morning for the last three years I have looked at it and thanked God that I didn’t write “Today…”
Posted in Short | Also tagged , | 1 Comment

This is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 4

STUPID: If your selected numbers are 23, 91, 10, 45, and 77, then you seem to be playing some sort of lottery game I was unaware of. The ol’ switcheroo. WORDPLAY: I stand by my assertion that the most painful punctuation combination is the colon slash. I felt very clever when this occurred to me. [...]
Posted in Internets | Also tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest, Episode 1

I realize that not everyone is cool enough to use Twitter, and the little box on the right isn’t enough to stay up to date on my scathingly brilliant wit and warptitude. With this in mind, I am going to collect the best of the worst of my twitterings here, in a new segment I [...]
Posted in Internets | Also tagged , , , | 2 Comments

View Mail #17: Perpetually Topical Comedy

An aspiring humorist writes: Dear Conlan, I’m an aspiring humorist. Standup comedy specifically. And I love doing topical humor… you know, real “ripped from the headlines” stuff. Nothing kills an audience like an up-to-date zinger. The problem is, keeping up on the current news is a daunting task for someone with only one eye. You’re [...]
Posted in Ask Conlan | Also tagged , , | Leave a comment