I was reading David Pogue’s NYT column about funny Twitter responses when I was heartbroken by a funny joke ruined by poor execution. Pogue tweeted: Whoa. Steve Jobs, Eric Schmidt, Mark Zuckerberg to meet with Obama, 2/17: http://abcn.ws/fbrlU8. The list of funny responses includes this: Finally, the most powerful men in the world, and the [...]
On my bathroom mirror, I have written in permanent marker, “Tomorrow I will begin being more positive, more active, and more productive.” Each morning for the last three years I have looked at it and thanked God that I didn’t write “Today…”
STUPID: If your selected numbers are 23, 91, 10, 45, and 77, then you seem to be playing some sort of lottery game I was unaware of. The ol’ switcheroo. WORDPLAY: I stand by my assertion that the most painful punctuation combination is the colon slash. I felt very clever when this occurred to me. [...]
I realize that not everyone is cool enough to use Twitter, and the little box on the right isn’t enough to stay up to date on my scathingly brilliant wit and warptitude. With this in mind, I am going to collect the best of the worst of my twitterings here, in a new segment I [...]