Sometimes I tell jokes on Twitter and then later I explain them here (or usually just make more jokes), and This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. WISDOM: Even though I’m a guy, I have a very strong maternal instinct. For instance, I often get drunk and pass out on the couch.— Conlan Spangler (@thisisconlan) November 11, [...]
Whenever the conversation turns to murder (as it inevitably does), my pal RC is always eager to offer his preferred method: Take one of those dual-tube epoxy mixes and jam it up somebody’s nose (one tube in each nostril). Then discharge the epoxy up said nose. Theoretically, the two gels will meet somewhere near the [...]
A reader from “nearby” writes: Dear Conlan, Big fan. First time reader, long time watcher. My question is like this. Suppose, hypothermically, that someone wanted to… oh I don’t know for the sake argument let’s say… murder you, eat your protein-rich spleen, and burn your fat in an oil lamp for light as I sew [...]
This is it. The final installment in my four-part The Controversial Survey. This entry is just the way I like my women: short, sassy, and with a hilarious video about rape[1]. Enjoy! 16. Would you burn an American flag for a hundred dollars? Oh, I’ve seen this scam before. Would I have to buy the [...]