Hi, Internets. After a brief birthdiatus, I’m back, refreshed, and ready to type the ess out of this em-effin’ bee. And to get back in the schwing of things, I’ve got something special: You asked for it. You begged for it. You scrawled it in blood on my bathroom mirror (nice touch, by the way). [...]
This is Conlan
sense/nonsense
true story
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Some Google searches that brought visitors to this site (courtesy Google Analytics): how do you spell assinine itunes click yes if you agree i am conlan “dressed like a whore” “meta-commentary” bamboo spanking can u not spell dopey ? controversial philosophical myspace surveys controversial survey myspace survey controversial surveys for myspace drunk chick history of [...]
The Seducer’s Diary (in non-diary form)
She’s got tattoos on her arms; one on her leg. RC has been into tattoos lately, because he likes girls who are brave enough to do things he’s not. She’s pretty cute, I guess. She’s a waitress. No, she’s a busboy. A busgirl… A… busser? You know, an empty-glass-picker-upper. She has great posture. She’s short, [...]
And That’s a Fact!
In second grade, I was a skinny lad, with shockingly blond hair, wearing my trademark sweatpants with American flag patches on both knees. We were learning about the difference between facts and opinions. Mrs. Hunter would present a sentence like, “Johnny is walking to the store,” and we would identify it as a statement of [...]