A reader from Moscow, Russia writes: Днем Рождения, Конлан. Вы знаете, почему все мои письма ищем, как это? Да, очень хорошо. чем ты думаешь? Боб, из России Thanks for your question, Bob. The truth is, most languages in the world are based on what experts call “drawings in caves”. In the early 20th Century, the [...]
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Ask Conlan: The Deal
Someone writes: Hey, dude. You don’t blog for 3 months and then you come back talking about beer and you act like nothing happened? What’s the deal? Thanks for your question, someone. The long answer is, nothing. The short answer is, buy one get one half off. Someone else writes: That was a pretty crappy [...]
Ask Conlan: Areas
It’s that time again. Dear Conlan, I’ve been having issues with my… you know, my area. I tried to tell my mom about it, but I was too embarrassed. What should I do? Sincerely, Burning in Burlingame You might be surprised, Burning, but I actually get this question fairly often. For some reason, people feel [...]
Ask Conlan: Kitty Meow Town
A reader (ironically) writes: Why am I never allowed to own a cat? Thank you for your question, Doug. This is a very interesting situation requiring the requisite non sequiturs (and therefore non sequitees, for argument’s sake), but what—inasmuch as there is such thing—does this actually preclude? The answer to that is simple: Don’t buy [...]