Tag Archives: viewer mail

Ask Conlan: Kitty Meow Town

By Conlan | Published: February 10, 2010
A reader (ironically) writes: Why am I never allowed to own a cat? Thank you for your question, Doug. This is a very interesting situation requiring the requisite non sequiturs (and therefore non sequitees, for argument’s sake), but what—inasmuch as there is such thing—does this actually preclude? The answer to that is simple: Don’t buy a [...]
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Ask Conlan: Sweet

By Conlan | Published: November 17, 2009
Chelsea from the comments writes: Hi Conlan. I have a question for your next “ask conlan” segment. Okay, here it is: What is going to happen to me if I live the rest of my life eating only candy? (I am on day three of a strictly candy diet, and I’m feeling a little off. I [...]
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Ask Conlan: Full Disclosure

By Conlan | Published: November 1, 2009
It’s time again for Ask Conlan, the segment in which I take questions from readers. You can ask me literally anything, no topic off-limits, even questions that don’t make sense. I am here for you. This week1 our first question comes from one C.B. McDougal. Mr/s. McDonald writes: Dear Conlan, How are you? Sincerely, C.B. McDonnely Wow. Just… wow. Who do [...]
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Ask Conlan: WTF is the deal with BYOM?

By Conlan | Published: September 24, 2009
You might remember me. I’m Conlan. People ask me things.1 For example:2 Dear Conlan, First of all, thank you for the ointment. Second, I have a thing. It’s a problem. I hope you will help me more so. It looks like this. The last week, when I was spontaneously looking for something (a shoe?), I accidentally was [...]
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  • Hello there.

    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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