Chelsea from the comments writes: Hi Conlan. I have a question for your next “ask conlan” segment. Okay, here it is: What is going to happen to me if I live the rest of my life eating only candy? (I am on day three of a strictly candy diet, and I’m feeling a little off. [...]
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Ask Conlan: Full Disclosure
It’s time again for Ask Conlan, the segment in which I take questions from readers. You can ask me literally anything, no topic off-limits, even questions that don’t make sense. I am here for you. This week[1] our first question comes from one C.B. McDougal. Mr/s. McDonald writes: Dear Conlan, How are you? Sincerely, C.B. [...]
Ask Conlan: WTF is the deal with BYOM?
You might remember me. I’m Conlan. People ask me things.[1] For example:[2] Dear Conlan, First of all, thank you for the ointment. Second, I have a thing. It’s a problem. I hope you will help me more so. It looks like this. The last week, when I was spontaneously looking for something (a shoe?), I [...]
Ask Conlan: Extra Sweaty Edition
A fellow Fresnan writes: Yo man. Yo. Luv ur stuf, luv yr stuff. So ima livin large, you know. but DAMN boyee it’s be damn hot, mang. what it do, sucka? How you keep cool in da hizzeat?? BAM! 109° mutha! what it be? what’s it all aboot? Yah, you hoser, tell me how to [...]