Tag Archives: Women

This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest, Episode 15

By Conlan | Published: October 19, 2009
It’s time for another episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. WORDPLAY: I think my dog is in heat. Luckily, it’s a dry heat. #idontreallyhaveadog Obviously. REACTION: Erectile dysfunction commercials make me long for a time when impotence was so shameful a condition that we dare not speak its euphemisms. Seriously, shut up already. REACTION: My skills: verb conjugation, competitive sweating, keeping my [...]
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Teaser #3

By Conlan | Published: April 26, 2009
Ooh, we’re in the final countdown now (cue music). Here is a fun story with a hidden teaser message: Last night I ate dinner at Joe’s Steakhouse. Darn good, by the way. I got the french dip. Oh, so tender you’d think you were eating some kind of animal’s flesh! Delicious! Really, really good. Recommended! Anyway, our server1 [...]
Posted in Blog | Also tagged | 4 Comments

Conlan Asks: Nick

By Conlan | Published: February 16, 2009
I asked my nine-year-old cousin Nick for advice on women. He offered his simple, effective four-step plan: Kiss her. She will cry. She will kiss you. You will have a girlfriend. Ingenius, no? Update: He has no similar advice for women courting men.
Posted in Women | Also tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

12DB, Day 5: The Wizard’s Pub

By Conlan | Published: January 5, 2009
“Are you gay?” “Am I gay?” I want to be sure I understand the question. “Yeah.” The girl is drunk. She wandered into the bar and sat near me. She came in with friends but they’re in the corner talking. “No,” I say. “Do I seem gay?” “Well, you see,” she says, clutching her Bud Light with Lime, “I’m [...]
Posted in Women | Also tagged , , | 6 Comments

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    This is Conlan. I'm a freelance writer and blogger. I live in Fresno, CA. I write this blog, and other things sometimes. I encourage you to pay me to write things. Please see the "Freelance" page for more information on that. (Seriously.) If you'd just want to know who I am and what I'm all about (including mostly lies), check the "About" page.

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