Welcome to another episode of This is Twittering: Meta-commentary Digest. It’s the only place where you’ll learn the story Behind the Toots. Which, now that I think about it, would’ve been a better name for this whole series. Live and learn, I guess. Let’s go: REACTION: I love the holiday season. It really makes me [...]
It’s time for another episode of This is Twittering: Meta-Commentary Digest. WORDPLAY: I think my dog is in heat. Luckily, it’s a dry heat. #idontreallyhaveadog Obviously. REACTION: Erectile dysfunction commercials make me long for a time when impotence was so shameful a condition that we dare not speak its euphemisms. Seriously, shut up already. REACTION: [...]
Ooh, we’re in the final countdown now (cue music). Here is a fun story with a hidden teaser message: Last night I ate dinner at Joe’s Steakhouse. Darn good, by the way. I got the french dip. Oh, so tender you’d think you were eating some kind of animal’s flesh! Delicious! Really, really good. Recommended! [...]
I asked my nine-year-old cousin Nick for advice on women. He offered his simple, effective four-step plan: Kiss her. She will cry. She will kiss you. You will have a girlfriend. Ingenius, no? Update: He has no similar advice for women courting men.