This Is Conlan is my internet weblog. I’ve temporarily removed most of the previous years’ posts as part of an ongoing reorganization effort. Stay tuned.
Who is Conlan?
You are Conlan Spangler. You’re a copywriter living on California’s beautiful Central Coast. You like coffee, old time radio, and intellectual consistency. You stutter. You see things a little differently. Whereas most people might write a bio in first-person, or perhaps third, you think that’s boring. You write yours in second-person. Is it a little confusing? Sure, but you don’t mind. For you, it’s all about the fun of it. If people don’t get it, that’s their problem. You’re having a good time, and you don’t care what other people think—or who gets crushed along the way. As long as you get your “kicks”, right? Nothing and nobody matter to you. You’re just in it for yourself. You never even consider how it might affect others, do you, you sick freak? You should be ashamed of yourself. Your sweet dead grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave every time you trample someone else in pursuit of another one of your “subversive comedy bits”. Everyone hates you. And rightly so. You’re a despicable person. Life is about more than just “goofs” and “yuk-’em-ups”. Maybe someday you’ll understand that—but apparently not today. I loathe you.